https://cubxxw.com/tags/love/ Xinwei Xiong's open archive of AI workflows, real projects, engineering methods, systems thinking, personal growth, philosophy, and life. https://cubxxw.com/assets/og-image.png https://cubxxw.com/ Hugo -- gohugo.io en-us Tue, 30 Jun 2026 23:59:59 +0800 https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-thought-notes/ Tue, 30 Jun 2026 23:59:59 +0800 Tue, 30 Jun 2026 23:59:59 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-thought-notes/ In June I came back from Laos to Shenzhen. The dense, active records of the entire month were squeezed into the last ten days (June 21 to 30) — about thirty-nine conversations, almost all in Chinese. On the surface I was slack. Underneath I was thinking through hard things at high density. This piece breaks June into seven layers: the deepest psychological line — "I finally saw the mechanism of how I push people away" — and how the same move lives inside my career; Agent architecture and technical engineering; what to do and not do in product direction; the founder studies and the lesson that "incentive structure colonizes personality"; a handful of epistemological knives; and finally back to my own situation today — that the essence of disorientation is not insufficient effort, it is not yet recognizing what problem I have to solve. Blog Monthly Notes Personal Reflection Attachment Love Agent Product Strategy Self-Discovery AI https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-3-anxious/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:20:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:20:00 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-3-anxious/ Anxious attachment is not about loving too much. It comes from repeatedly experiencing as a child that love would come but might not stay, that people would draw close and then suddenly disappear. So in adulthood the anxious person doesn't distrust love — they fear love disappearing. This piece lays out the origins, typical patterns, the anxious-avoidant trap, and the path of repair, all in one place. Psychology Attachment Relationships Intimacy Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-2-avoidant/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:10:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:10:00 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-2-avoidant/ In the Chinese context, what people often call avoidant personality is more precisely avoidant attachment. Its core is not no need for love but a slowly learned lesson from childhood: expressing needs does not work, getting close is not safe, carrying it alone is steadiest. This piece lays out where it grows from, what its underlying beliefs look like, how it typically shows up, and step by step how it can be repaired — both with others and with yourself. Psychology Attachment Relationships Intimacy Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-1-quality-and-time/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:00:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:00:00 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-1-quality-and-time/ Quality and time in companionship are not a choice between two things. They are two different systems doing two different jobs. Quality lights the fire. Time settles it to the bottom. This piece pulls apart the responsiveness system and the habituation system, then uses how the amygdala actually works to explain why safety is not no threat here but no surprise here. Finally we return to the most common and least recognized move of all: why we turn away just as we are about to come close. Psychology Relationships Intimacy Attachment Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/love-seen-clearly-loved-deeply/ Mon, 22 Jun 2026 23:19:30 +0800 Mon, 22 Jun 2026 23:19:30 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://cubxxw.com/growth/posts/love-seen-clearly-loved-deeply/ Five lenses—psychology, biology, anthropology, history, sociology—dissect love, and then Buddhism's dependent origination gathers all five into a single circle. From possession to seeing, from seeing through to loving deeply: a long essay on the anatomy and the liberation of love. Buddhism Philosophy Love Personal Growth