Inner Work

This piece is me going back over my own books. Two years ago I wrote down a sentence I’d counted among the things I had figured out. Recently, while chasing the source of a four-character phrase, I pulled it back out — and found it may be backwards from top to bottom. A sentence I’ve been carrying for two years In October 2025 I wrote this in my notes: ...

The seed of this piece was a conversation that ran for several rounds — starting from small talk about the weather and sliding, almost by accident, into “what is life even made of?” It won’t hand you an answer, because the thing actually worth having grows precisely where there is no answer. ...

A Signal That Sent a Chill Down My Spine Let me start with a line from the retrospective of someone who uses AI heavily every day. Reading it gave me a bit of a chill: When I have a really enjoyable conversation with AI, it probably means I didn’t grow that day. They explained it clearly: a pleasant conversation usually means no friction was encountered. Real growth is always accompanied by some kind of discomfort — forcing a vague idea into a clear sentence, working through a problem you can’t figure out, being jolted into rethinking by an objection. None of that feels “good.” They kept using AI to remove friction, and the more they used it, the smoother and more pleasant the conversations got — until they stopped and realized: friction was exactly what they needed most, and they’d deleted it with their own hands. ...

This is Part 3 of “Ignite and Settle,” and the close of the series. Part 1, The Quality and Time of Companionship , asked why we turn away just as we come close. Part 2, Avoidant Attachment , described how the “turning away” person is made. This part describes the other half — the one that looks opposite, and bites tight to the previous one at the bottom: the anxious. ...

This is Part 2 of “Ignite and Settle.” Part 1, The Quality and Time of Companionship , described the act of “running when someone gets close.” This part focuses on its origins and repair. Part 3 will describe anxious attachment — its mirror, with which it is biting at the bottom. ...

This is Part 1 of the “Ignite and Settle” series. Part 2 is on avoidant attachment — why we want to run when someone gets close. Part 3 is on anxious attachment — why we keep seeking reassurance in love. You can enter from any of the three. Read together, they form one map. Opening: A deceptively simple question Let me start with a deceptively simple question: in companionship, which matters more — quality or time? ...

After researching a large amount of information, we summarized the methods of memorizing words and learning spoken English. A problem student in the eyes of teachers since childhood, and a stupid child in the eyes of parents. For a class teacher whose eyes are full of excellent students, there is no room for an undistinguished student like me in his eyes. I have been on the road to understanding and redeeming myself, constantly exploring why others memorize words so quickly, why all online learning methods fail for me, and why everyone thinks it is my problem… ...

Flow State As I mentioned in my previous post on GTD and the Four Quadrant Rule Practice , I have been striving to enhance my focus and efficiency. Reflecting on the moments when I initially experienced the flow state, whether engrossed in a game or a novel, time seemed to stand still. The flow state is not just about the swift passage of time; it has profound effects on our lives, health, productivity, and even our sense of happiness. ...