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Quick Navigation Start with the long read: 12 sections in the body above. 34 archived notes this month, filed under 7 themes: Self-Knowledge and Psychology · 13 Daily Notes and Everything Else · 5 Business, Investing and Career · 5 AI and Agent Systems · 4 Product, Engineering and Open Source · 3 Content, Craft and Recording · 2 Reading, Ideas and History · 2 Prologue: A slack surface, and high density underneath In June I came back from Laos to Shenzhen. ...

This is Part 3 of “Ignite and Settle,” and the close of the series. Part 1, The Quality and Time of Companionship , asked why we turn away just as we come close. Part 2, Avoidant Attachment , described how the “turning away” person is made. This part describes the other half — the one that looks opposite, and bites tight to the previous one at the bottom: the anxious. ...

This is Part 2 of “Ignite and Settle.” Part 1, The Quality and Time of Companionship , described the act of “running when someone gets close.” This part focuses on its origins and repair. Part 3 will describe anxious attachment — its mirror, with which it is biting at the bottom. ...

This is Part 1 of the “Ignite and Settle” series. Part 2 is on avoidant attachment — why we want to run when someone gets close. Part 3 is on anxious attachment — why we keep seeking reassurance in love. You can enter from any of the three. Read together, they form one map. Opening: A deceptively simple question Let me start with a deceptively simple question: in companionship, which matters more — quality or time? ...